I’m not a big fan of things that require patience … largely because patience isn’t one of my strengths.
When there’s a problem to be solved, I want a resolution to implement immediately.
When there’s something I need to do, I want to get it done right away so I don’t have to think about it anymore.
When I have a new idea, I want to try it out as soon as I’ve thought of it.
When something hurts, I want it fixed, healed, mended NOW.
But that’s not how life works, is it?
As hard as it is for us in the modern, hurried, I-want-it-now world, some things just take time.
I get messages from people rather frequently who want to order a custom piece of kintsugi jewelry, and the vast majority of them disappear when I tell them that the process of making a new piece takes a couple of weeks. They want it now or they don’t want it all.
Even after all this time, I still sometimes find myself straining at the bit wanting the process to go faster from broken stone to finished piece, but there’s no rushing the process. It takes as long as it takes. My impatience with the process only makes the wait harder to bear.
My modern kintsugi process, which seems to take so long to most of us, is still a drop in the bucket compared to the timelines required by the traditional kintsugi process, which can take months to complete because of the slower curing time required by the urushi lacquer.
The healing of a broken heart can take even longer.
There are no timeframes or timelines set on how long it might take. Each heartbreak heals at its own rate depending on the person, their unique history and belief system, the type of heartbreak encountered, the number of other heartaches and stressors the person might be experiencing, the amount of support and resources available to help with the healing process, and so much more.
If nothing else, spending my days living intensely with the kintsugi process one stone after another is slowing teaching me the value of patience … and is giving me enough practice with patience to slowly begin developing it as a skill. (Slowly!)
As it does, I find myself slowly relaxing into the healing process and other slow-moving growth processes happening in my life with enough patience to allow them to unfold as they need to.
I’m finally truly accepting the fact that I’m only responsible for supporting those processes to the best of my ability. The speed at which they unfold, take shape, and blossom into fullness is outside my control.
I may not enjoy the practice of patience, but my life is richer for each bit of that skill I develop.
How adept are you are practicing patience?
If you’d like to receive more inspiration and encouragement for living your own kintsugi life, subscribe to get weekly notifications of new blog posts in your inbox.