The things that break our hearts and leave us feeling broken almost always involve endings of some kind. And those endings often feel like we’ve hit a dead end on whatever path we’ve been following through life. Here are three less-than-helpful tendencies I’ve noticed in myself and others for responding to these dead ends and the one thing that seems to work better for me when the path before me has ended.
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Taking the time to look back and find those threads of healing that have appeared over the last year, even if the healing is still a work in progress, can create the space to make sure we also find the gold in that healing.
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In the natural world, everything has bursts of growth and expansion followed by times of contraction and seeming regress. In our own growth, this alternation is not only to be expected, but it’s actually necessary.
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A combination of absolute focus on the qualities of the life we want to live while remaining flexible and open to experimentation with the details makes the process of building a desired life so much easier.
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Just as happens in the chrysalis, our new beginnings often look so foreign from the self-identity we once held that we withdraw and retreat from what is trying to emerge even as we impatiently wait for that very emergence.
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The mix of liberation and loss all in the same package is precisely what makes the process of transformation so exciting and scary and bewildering and sad and uncertain all at once. Each step along the way is releasing what is known and comfortable to make room for what is unknown and uncertain.
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My longing for the Divine has never been trying to lead me anywhere except within to find that I had never been separated from the One whom I sought.
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When I have been so deeply wounded in some way that I feel broken by what has happened to me, healing does restore me and make me functional again. It does add beauty and richness and depth, but I am never again the same.
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As one year dies and another is set to begin, I find myself reviewing the deaths that have happened in my own life over the last year and the new life that has sprung from the space made by those deaths.
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The promise of spring with its returning light and warmth help give us hope in the cold of winter. Likewise, the hope of healing can help us survive life’s dark times.
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