What if there's nothing wrong with you?

Posted by Kenetha Stanton on

woman holding flowers against swirling, magical backdrop
Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

I love to read fantasy fiction of all kinds. My favorite kind of story is one where the heroine begins the story thinking that she's insignificant, worthless, broken, or defective in some way and discovers during the story that whatever she thought was wrong with her is actually a sign of her undeveloped and previously unrecognized magical superpower (that usually then becomes crucial to saving the world).

There are all kinds of variations on this general story line, of course. They range from Cinderella (who goes from rags to princess even if she herself doesn't have a superpower) to Harry Potter (who goes from the cupboard under the stairs to becoming a powerful magician) and beyond.

Some part of me has been secretly waiting for years for my own fairy godmother or Hogwarts invitation or similar magical moment of revelation to show me how I'm actually much more amazing than I ever imagined I could be.

Those fantasies have yet to come true, but over the years I've also discovered that they aren't really necessary. The truth is even better.

I've discovered that the only thing really "wrong" with me is that I think there's something wrong with me.

Every place where I've thought I was broken or defective in some way has come from accepting the idea that I should be someone other than who I am in some way.

Sure, there are plenty of habits that I'd like to shift into healthier ones, there are skills that I'd like to develop, and areas that could use a bit more polishing. None of those things make me broken or worthless or defective.

All it has taken to stop the continual belief that there is something wrong with me is to embrace who I really am—even those parts of me that I really kind of wish were something else.

For example, I wish I was an outgoing, warm, friendly person, but I'm not. I'm an extreme introvert who loves her time alone and tends to be a bit awkward around people (especially ones I don't know well).

I spent years thinking this was proof that I am defective. As I've learned to embrace my introversion, I've discovered the many, many gifts that come with being an introvert and have learned to see this as one of my strengths.

Yes, I still wish I was more outgoing sometimes. Yes, I still work at developing better social skills. Yes, I push myself to balance my solitude with social interactions, but I no longer see this is a sign that there is something wrong with me. I'm just working to apply a bit more polish to who I actually am.

Once I stopped believing that my introversion was something wrong with me, it stopped being something wrong with me. That's really all it took. (And that's just one of many examples.)

It sounds simple, but changing our beliefs is never an easy thing to do. They tend to be so ingrained in us that we don't see them as anything we have a choice about. We think they are TRUTH, but they are not. They are really more of a conditioned mental habit.

What is one thing that you believe to be wrong with you?

It's the full moon, and I challenge you to work with that belief over the next couple of weeks until the new moon. Imagine that belief fading as the moon wanes. Imagine letting go of the notion that there is something wrong with you. Imagine releasing the idea that you are defective.

Then as the moon grows full again after the new moon, I challenge you to build a new belief. Explore the ways that your imagined fault is actually an unrecognized strength. Imagine embracing that part of who you are with love and appreciation. Discover the gifts that this part of you brings to your life.

Keep in mind that this neglected and previously unappreciated part of yourself may still need some polishing, and that's ok. Perfection is not the goal here.

The goal is discovering that there is really nothing wrong with you without your belief that there is. It's entirely under your control to change that belief.

You are not broken or defective or worthless. You are precious and valued just the way you are. The trick is learning to believe that.

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