All of the patterns we engage in are things that once helped us in some way, but that doesn't mean that they remain helpful here and now. It's important to pay attention to these patterns as we become aware of them and assess whether they are still helpful.
Returning to the same broken well over and over again when it is no longer supplying usable water is not going to make the well spontaneously fix itself; we just grow more thirsty. The same is true in our emotional lives.
We all have our own personal dragon whose breath on the back of our necks keeps us running through all of our usual patterns and reactionary habits. Here's the secret to turning that dragon into your ally.
The battles we fight in the external world are never as challenging as those that we fight within ourselves. Most of those internal battles can be traced back to a single insidious source: the should monster.
Fear can be a helpful ally when we know how to treat it right. It's when we give it full control or try to completely ignore it (and most of us do one or the other) that it becomes an obstacle. What is your usual relationship to fear?